Yesterday I wrote about how an important aspect of becoming a better lover is to develop the skill of paying attention to our own body and our lover’s body at the same time. Before trying to hold dual attention in your own body as well as your lover’s, it is best to develop the skill of paying attention to sensation in your own body first.

Interestingly, a practice that can assist us in developing a better sex life is meditation. If we can carve out just a few minutes to pay attention to the sensation in our body we can begin to feel more, which becomes valuable during sex. There are a huge variety of meditation forms and many focus on specific practices. I recommend beginning to focus on your breath and bringing your awareness to the sensations in your body. This can be a 2 minute moment, it doesn’t have to be long unless you want it to be. Start with a short amount of time and then begin adding minutes to your “meditation moment” over time.

The idea within this focused moment is to really feel your body, to begin to shift your attention from the hundreds of thoughts in your mind into the sensations within your body. We all have thousands of thoughts a minute and if we are paying attention to the thoughts, we miss what is really happening within our body. So developing this skill is essential to cultivate so that we can feel the most pleasure during our lovemaking.

Begin lying down, sitting in a chair or on the floor. Bring your attention into your body and breathe. Do this for a minute, two or longer. Notice what you feel.

This is how we begin really paying exquisite attention to the feelings and sensations we have. Strengthening this skill set moment by moment is preparing us to be able to feel more orgasmic sensation later.