There are so many factors that go into having fantastic and fulfilling sex.

We have to know what we like and be able to ask for it.

We have to be able to negotiate clearly in general in the relationship as well as in the heat of the moment and we must be skilled in the art of offering and receiving pleasure.

These are all important factors, but the core element of being a fabulous lover, is developing the skill of really paying attention.

To be really present to the sex that is happening we have to pay attention to our lover’s emotional state, mood and body’s reactions as well as simultaneously being present to our own body and its changing needs and desires.

To be the best lover we can be, we each have to develop the skill of having our own attention both within our own body and at the same time focused on our lover’s body.

This is simple but not easy. Learning to have our attention in two places at once is a practice we can constantly develop and improve on.

Doing so will allow us to become a better lover and enjoy the sex we are having even more, as we are soaking it all in more fully.

To develop the skill of paying attention we just have to practice it again and again.

Practice makes perfect.

Get to it!