June 11, 2013
I paint to celebrate the pleasure and beauty of the body. But celebrating pleasure is not always easy.
We have been taught to distrust pleasure. To value pain, exhaustion and suffering over joy, pleasure and ecstasy.
We glorify suffering, believing it is morally superior, that it is a strength and virtue contrary to pleasure’s self-absorption and weakness.
This belief translates into behavior where we don’t allow ourselves the pleasure, joy and happiness that is available to us, both in small moments and over a lifetime.
This belief is deeply ingrained in us by culture.
At some point we each hit a cap on the amount of joy and pleasure we give ourselves permission to feel.
When we have had enough joy, and feel as though we can not take any more pleasure, we reach our capacity and pleasure anxiety kicks in.
We block pleasure, or pick a fight to disrupt feeling too good. We believe “everything is going so well, something horrible has to happen next.”
Perhaps we believe we do not deserve to feel fantastic for extended periods of time, or fear we will lose total control if we keep feeling good.
The remedy to pleasure anxiety is simple.
We can choose to start to notice where we deny ourselves our full capacity to pleasure.
And once we notice where we stop ourselves, we can choose to expand into pleasure instead.
Each choice we make either keeps our life contracted, or permits us to expand into a more delightful, vital life.
Interestingly, there is some evidence that people retain the same baseline level of happiness over their lifetime. (p14, The Pleasure Zone, Resnick)
“not many of us have ever considered…that we could raise our sense of well-being directly by learning to expand on, and intensify, our basic ability to enjoy everyday pleasures.” (p. 15)
And we could keep doing this every day, every year.
Over the years, these choices create our quality of life: and we only get one life after all.
Notice where or when you hit your pleasure threshold, are there habits or patterns that appear, for example times of the day or locations that trigger you to declare that you have had enough.
When have you taken in as much joy as you can stand and notice if pleasure anxiety appears.
Challenge yourself and see how it feels to let yourself expand into the full pleasure that is available to you.
Notice what happens if you breathe into your discomfort and then relax and let more pleasure in.
What would happen if you kept upping your pleasure tolerance? What might life look like?
May your pleasure adventures be constantly expanding,
Charlotte Mia Rose
August 7, 2013